The cliches Mumbai people can avoid this monsoon season
Mumbai is preparing to get drenched (and blocked) this monsoon and all of us are excited to get respite from the scorching heat, but amidst all the excitement we all end up doing a set of monsoon cliches that we can and must totally avoid. So let's get started with the levels and cliches you will witness or maybe even participate in during this monsoon season.
The "it's raining outside" type updates
Do you ever put up a post informing people about how sunny, humid and sticky it is? Do you ever write, "It's sunny outside" on your wall? No right? Then why do you feel the need to update people about rains? "Mausam is Awesum" ye partiality kyun? "Dekho barish ho rahi hai ... its raining its raining" it's not funny anymore. Your update will make no difference (and garner no traction unless you are a hot girl) on social media. So please don't become the official weather woman this monsoon. We don't need weather updates.
The "water on the window" type picture
And then the photographer in me awoke and I went click! click! click! So I guess not everyone has a water proof I Phone 7 to actually step out in the rain and click pictures, that's why they sit in the car and try to capture the best of monsoon that they can - water droplets on the window! If that is not enough they post it on social media with cheesy quotes. So enriching!
The "we are so drenched" type selfies
You just can't plague the timeline with yourself and your friends drenched selfies. Please do not post it unless you look like Beyonce. It's inhuman.
The "should I or shouldn't I carry an umbrella today" type questions
Ye Mumbai ki barish hai ... yahan kabootar bhi ek pankh se udta hai ... aur dusre mein chatri pakadta hai! (inspired by Gangs of Wassepur). Don't we all know about the unpredictability of Mumbai rains? I mean that's exactly what it's famous for. Then why would you take a poll on twitter? Just grab an umbrella and step out! Anyways its going to do you no good.
The "it's gon rain" type thoughts
Have you seen those creatures that just look up at the sky, smell the air, feel the moist and declare wether it's going to rain or no? Well I have and let me tell you they make absolutely no difference to my life. I don't wana see your psychic skills. I don't want my conversations to revolve around "is it or isn't it going to rain" and I don't want to spend the rest of my monsoon staring into the sky and banging into a pole. Your weather report does nothing for me.
The "I hate monsoon" type people
That's me! Yes I am a cliche! I totally hate this wet, slimy, sloppy and dirty weather condition and what I loath more are the people who like it. You will see a lot like me who are always cribbing and cursing monsoon with the constant "tich" "tich" sound while walking through muddy paths. We are genuine pain in the ass (by ass I mean hindi-wali ass i.e hope).
Now I have blocked almost all possibility of enjoying Mumbai monsoon for social media butterflies but before you believe that, let me give you a list of things you can and must do this monsoon.
1. Get drenched and don't bother to click pictures.
2. Make paper boats, write messages and let them flow.
3. Jump in a puddle (for mumbaikars it's pothole) with your best friend.
4. Buy loads of bhajiyas and vada pavs for all the people on the street, not coz you pitty them but coz its "cool" to eat with them.
5. Buy umbrellas for your friends, mom, dad, sister, taoji, mami, etc. trust me nothing makes for a better monsoon gift.
6. Do all the above cliches.
Because then I can get a good laugh. I think I have this love-hate relationship with monsoon, I'm not totally in the "I hate monsoon" squad but I do like summers most, because you get to sweat and I really like it, good for my muscles.
P.S - May the rain pour on you today.
The "it's raining outside" type updates
Do you ever put up a post informing people about how sunny, humid and sticky it is? Do you ever write, "It's sunny outside" on your wall? No right? Then why do you feel the need to update people about rains? "Mausam is Awesum" ye partiality kyun? "Dekho barish ho rahi hai ... its raining its raining" it's not funny anymore. Your update will make no difference (and garner no traction unless you are a hot girl) on social media. So please don't become the official weather woman this monsoon. We don't need weather updates.
The "water on the window" type picture
And then the photographer in me awoke and I went click! click! click! So I guess not everyone has a water proof I Phone 7 to actually step out in the rain and click pictures, that's why they sit in the car and try to capture the best of monsoon that they can - water droplets on the window! If that is not enough they post it on social media with cheesy quotes. So enriching!
The "we are so drenched" type selfies
You just can't plague the timeline with yourself and your friends drenched selfies. Please do not post it unless you look like Beyonce. It's inhuman.
The "should I or shouldn't I carry an umbrella today" type questions
Ye Mumbai ki barish hai ... yahan kabootar bhi ek pankh se udta hai ... aur dusre mein chatri pakadta hai! (inspired by Gangs of Wassepur). Don't we all know about the unpredictability of Mumbai rains? I mean that's exactly what it's famous for. Then why would you take a poll on twitter? Just grab an umbrella and step out! Anyways its going to do you no good.
The "it's gon rain" type thoughts
Have you seen those creatures that just look up at the sky, smell the air, feel the moist and declare wether it's going to rain or no? Well I have and let me tell you they make absolutely no difference to my life. I don't wana see your psychic skills. I don't want my conversations to revolve around "is it or isn't it going to rain" and I don't want to spend the rest of my monsoon staring into the sky and banging into a pole. Your weather report does nothing for me.
The "I hate monsoon" type people
That's me! Yes I am a cliche! I totally hate this wet, slimy, sloppy and dirty weather condition and what I loath more are the people who like it. You will see a lot like me who are always cribbing and cursing monsoon with the constant "tich" "tich" sound while walking through muddy paths. We are genuine pain in the ass (by ass I mean hindi-wali ass i.e hope).
Now I have blocked almost all possibility of enjoying Mumbai monsoon for social media butterflies but before you believe that, let me give you a list of things you can and must do this monsoon.
1. Get drenched and don't bother to click pictures.
2. Make paper boats, write messages and let them flow.
3. Jump in a puddle (for mumbaikars it's pothole) with your best friend.
4. Buy loads of bhajiyas and vada pavs for all the people on the street, not coz you pitty them but coz its "cool" to eat with them.
5. Buy umbrellas for your friends, mom, dad, sister, taoji, mami, etc. trust me nothing makes for a better monsoon gift.
6. Do all the above cliches.
Because then I can get a good laugh. I think I have this love-hate relationship with monsoon, I'm not totally in the "I hate monsoon" squad but I do like summers most, because you get to sweat and I really like it, good for my muscles.
P.S - May the rain pour on you today.
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