List of things you will need during Ramadan if you are fasting in Mumbai
Mumbai is gearing up for Ramadan and let me enlighten you, Ramadan is a month. It's not a festival. The festival is Eid. Ramadan is a month of Islamic Calendar. This is that time of the year when Muslims fast, pray, listen to mommy, avoid bad talk, look, feel and behave Muslim, which should be the case throughout life but actually isn't the most common practice by Muslim kids in other months of the year. This is why when we suddenly change ourselves for that one month our friends and peers get confused and thus if you are fasting in Ramadan there are some essentials that will be required to deal with such scenarios.
Let me update you with the list of things you will need during Ramadan if you are fasting in Mumbai.
A placard that says, "Don't shove food in my mouth, I am fasting."
All the love and care and food of your friends will be bestowed upon you during this time. Maybe because they see you siting all sulky and cranky in a corner, that they feel the need to involve you in every food expedition. A placard around your neck could be of great help.
A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam
Why do you fast? Not even water? Not even your Saliva? Chewing Gum? Why do you pray five times a day? Are dates necessary or you can open your fast with anything? Can't you break your fast with Chicken Shawarma? It's RamaZan or RamaDan? Eid kab hai? Kab hai Eid? To answer all these questions you have to have copies of these books because you know how difficult it is to deal with bombardment of questions while fasting.
A friend to take up your gym membership
Did you know Ramadan and gym are two words that don't go well together? It's a fact. No sane muslim will ever go to the gym during Ramadan because you barely have enough strength to sail thorough the most basic activities of the day. Ramadan is all about kindness and helping others, so do your friends and yourself a favour and pass on you month's gym membership to someone who ain't fasting.
Ramazan ready wardrobe
Get all your salwar kameez, kandoora, dupattas out it's Ramadan! You are expected to look every bit the Muslim (that you are not) during this time or else you will miss out on all the fun! Non-Muslim friends won't ask you annoying question and Muslim friends won't invite you for Iftaar Parties.
Dictionary
You need a new non-abusive vocabulary because this is the only time of the year when your sentences cannot start with "shit" and end with "fuck" (and everything in-between) and we very well know how difficult it will be for us to construct our sentences without these words.
Appetite
Ramadan is the month of fasting that is all about food - caramel custard, fruit tarts, seekh paratha, rabbi jalebi, kheema samosa, malpuha, thick milkshakes, kabuli chana, the list is endless. As much as you want to eat all these delicacies the realities that all that. fasting takes away your appetite. So if you can get your hands on some appetite...
A "Ramadan" wallpaper on your desktop and phone
To remind you that you are fasting and you cannot eat or drink anything neither can you pretend to forget.
A good camera
Either upgrade to a phone with better camera or better buy a camera, because you are going to be flooded with objects for photography - food, food and some more delicious food!
A deal with people to call you when it's time to break your fast
Not all of us are present on the dastarkhaan to break the fast with family, some of us are in lectures, commuting, working or in some cases even chilling with friends and you can't hear the call to prayer post sunset that gives you the indication that it's time to break your fast. This is why you need to have at least 3 people from your family of friends calling during Maghrib without fail for all the 30 days of Ramadan.
Let me update you with the list of things you will need during Ramadan if you are fasting in Mumbai.
A placard that says, "Don't shove food in my mouth, I am fasting."
All the love and care and food of your friends will be bestowed upon you during this time. Maybe because they see you siting all sulky and cranky in a corner, that they feel the need to involve you in every food expedition. A placard around your neck could be of great help.
Why do you fast? Not even water? Not even your Saliva? Chewing Gum? Why do you pray five times a day? Are dates necessary or you can open your fast with anything? Can't you break your fast with Chicken Shawarma? It's RamaZan or RamaDan? Eid kab hai? Kab hai Eid? To answer all these questions you have to have copies of these books because you know how difficult it is to deal with bombardment of questions while fasting.
A friend to take up your gym membership
Did you know Ramadan and gym are two words that don't go well together? It's a fact. No sane muslim will ever go to the gym during Ramadan because you barely have enough strength to sail thorough the most basic activities of the day. Ramadan is all about kindness and helping others, so do your friends and yourself a favour and pass on you month's gym membership to someone who ain't fasting.
Ramazan ready wardrobe
Get all your salwar kameez, kandoora, dupattas out it's Ramadan! You are expected to look every bit the Muslim (that you are not) during this time or else you will miss out on all the fun! Non-Muslim friends won't ask you annoying question and Muslim friends won't invite you for Iftaar Parties.
Dictionary
You need a new non-abusive vocabulary because this is the only time of the year when your sentences cannot start with "shit" and end with "fuck" (and everything in-between) and we very well know how difficult it will be for us to construct our sentences without these words.
Appetite
Ramadan is the month of fasting that is all about food - caramel custard, fruit tarts, seekh paratha, rabbi jalebi, kheema samosa, malpuha, thick milkshakes, kabuli chana, the list is endless. As much as you want to eat all these delicacies the realities that all that. fasting takes away your appetite. So if you can get your hands on some appetite...
A "Ramadan" wallpaper on your desktop and phone
To remind you that you are fasting and you cannot eat or drink anything neither can you pretend to forget.
A good camera
Either upgrade to a phone with better camera or better buy a camera, because you are going to be flooded with objects for photography - food, food and some more delicious food!
A deal with people to call you when it's time to break your fast
Not all of us are present on the dastarkhaan to break the fast with family, some of us are in lectures, commuting, working or in some cases even chilling with friends and you can't hear the call to prayer post sunset that gives you the indication that it's time to break your fast. This is why you need to have at least 3 people from your family of friends calling during Maghrib without fail for all the 30 days of Ramadan.
So brace yourself because Ramadan is coming. There'll be iftar parties and food and friends asking for sheer korma and biryani and noor-on-your-face-because-you-are-fasting and prayers and azaans (Hi Sonu Nigam) and Mohammed Ali Road and no lunch break and more productivity (kidding).
It's going to be fantastic!
You forgot to add tasbee, janamaz etc.
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