5 things you shouldn't expect in Mumbai
If you expect people to get back to work after a bomb blast, you are right! If you expect the pani-puriwala to give you an extra puri after your six pani-puris, you are right! But if you expect a traffic cop to leave you without charging money or you expect rains to pour when you are actually carrying an umbrella in Mumbai, then boss you need to know Mumbai better!
If you want to survive in this demented, lunatic, unhinged Mumbai you must know about the things you shouldn't expect in Mumbai.
1. A Chance to wear warm clothes in November
I don't know why do we even bother to differentiate Mumbai weather via months! Mumbai weather has swag and arrives like a boss - on its own accord! If you have warm clothes please go to Delhi, because Mumbai is not going to give you any winter except on the night of 31st December.
2. Sympathy in Virar local
You can find Obama in a Virar local but you can't find sympathy. there It is a place not for the weak hearted people.
3. Flat 50% discount
The big huge flat 50% discount board always has an inversely proportionally written *conditions apply on the bottom right corner, so when you read or hear "Malls on Flat 50% Off" or "The Great Indian Sale" or "50% Off on all Bookings", please don't rush to reach your credit card limit and spend your peanuts salary because it is never flat 50% off, its always upto and don't even dare to ask on discounts on fresh arrivals. Because that is the candy to lure you into the candy shop and THAT candy is never on sale, that candy IS the sale.
4. Extra curry leaves after the vegetable vendor has been generous enough
Yes extra puri, extra aloo slice, extra curry leaves all these are your birth rights, but don't be stupid and push it. If you think you can get lucky and get some more extra after the already given extra then the only thing you will get is the epic, "kahan kahan se aa gate hai" (don't know where they come from).
5. An auto rickshaw driver giving you change or affirmative reply
If by the grace of god you do come across an auto rickshaw driver who takes the pain of going to the shop for getting you change he will always return with just enough change to make a round figure and give you the money back taking a few rupees extra for all the pain.
If you want to survive in this demented, lunatic, unhinged Mumbai you must know about the things you shouldn't expect in Mumbai.
1. A Chance to wear warm clothes in November
I don't know why do we even bother to differentiate Mumbai weather via months! Mumbai weather has swag and arrives like a boss - on its own accord! If you have warm clothes please go to Delhi, because Mumbai is not going to give you any winter except on the night of 31st December.
2. Sympathy in Virar local
You can find Obama in a Virar local but you can't find sympathy. there It is a place not for the weak hearted people.
3. Flat 50% discount
The big huge flat 50% discount board always has an inversely proportionally written *conditions apply on the bottom right corner, so when you read or hear "Malls on Flat 50% Off" or "The Great Indian Sale" or "50% Off on all Bookings", please don't rush to reach your credit card limit and spend your peanuts salary because it is never flat 50% off, its always upto and don't even dare to ask on discounts on fresh arrivals. Because that is the candy to lure you into the candy shop and THAT candy is never on sale, that candy IS the sale.
4. Extra curry leaves after the vegetable vendor has been generous enough
Yes extra puri, extra aloo slice, extra curry leaves all these are your birth rights, but don't be stupid and push it. If you think you can get lucky and get some more extra after the already given extra then the only thing you will get is the epic, "kahan kahan se aa gate hai" (don't know where they come from).
5. An auto rickshaw driver giving you change or affirmative reply
If by the grace of god you do come across an auto rickshaw driver who takes the pain of going to the shop for getting you change he will always return with just enough change to make a round figure and give you the money back taking a few rupees extra for all the pain.
This was the best of the worst but the list of things you shouldn't expect in Mumbai can go on...
MET department predictions being bang on
The person you vote being elected
Traffic cop shifting the cow causing jam
Police arriving on time
The helpline 100 solving your problem
3G working at the speed of 3G
Haath dakhwa bus thambwa (Show your hand and stop the bus)
Bollywood depiction of cops in real life
Bollywood depiction of dance routine in real life
P. S - write it down in the comments below if you have more suggestions.
Its amazing & true
ReplyDeleteWe are urgently in need of KlDNEY donors for the sum of $500,000.00 USD, WhatsApp or Email for more details: hospitalcarecenter05@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteWhatsApp +91 8681996093