5 types of men you will and you must date in Mumbai

The speed at which people are falling in and out of relationships is inversely proportional to the speed at which an Ashutosh Gowariker movie moves. It's like our relationship status is competing with Mumbai weather - who can change faster? We live in the age of tinder, grinder, fropper, okcupid, metrodate and what not. If you frequent these apps, then please don't bother to read further because baby you are not dating a man, you are in a committed relationship with your phone. For the rest of you just go ahead and explore the different types of men you will and you must date in Mumbai.

1. The Alpha Male

He is the perfect man (at least he thinks he is) and everything he does is right. He will respect you, love you, pull the chair for you, hold the door for you, listen to you but... do exactly and only what he thinks is right. You will be the happiest thing around him because he will shower you with undivided attention and always encourage you to have your own say... on everything except him. The only way you can ever get him to do what you want is to make him believe that it is exactly what "he" wants (and this is one area we girls specialize in).

The good part is that you will be occupied because Alpha Male demands attention and they make sure every minute you spend with them is memorable. He will spoil you like a princes with his extremely caring and considerate nature. He will fill you with passion to do something big with your life because he has really big dreams which he is sure he will achieve.

The bad part is that your relationship will end exactly the way it started - on his mercy. And in the end, you will be miserable because there is this big void that needs to be filled and you know how it is... you were so occupied with him that you no more have "friends" to fall back on.

2. The Pacifier

He is submissive when you want him to be and dominating when he needs to be. He listens, he cares and when you need to breath he becomes the air. He is your 4 am friend, your lunch buddy, your partner in crime, your problem solver but... don't you ever take him for granted because the day he losses his marbles...you've had it! The only way to understand him is to shut the fuck up and sometimes let him also talk his heart out (one of the most difficult things for a girl to do).

The good part is that the pacifier will always give you the best advise because of his honesty.

The bad part is that he can be cynical because he is too honest.

3. The Cool Guy

He makes you blush, he can make a 101 butterflies flutter in your stomach and make the hair at the back of your neck stand because he is so cool. The reason why we think they are cool is because they don't reveal too much about themselves and we stay happy with whatever we discover and agree to believe. But the day you know the whole of him, you realise life is not all rainbow colours and you have to then take a call if you can deal with him and his baggage. The cool guys are actually too cool to talk about themselves or interfere much in your life and the need to read this closed book drives you crazy. The only way to deal with these guys is to be even more patient that they are (just make sure you are not a 100 years older by the end of it).

The good part is the initial phase because you will be hungry to know him while he will take all the time in the world to reveal his true self.

The bad part is the phase after the initial phase because the movie must always be better than the trailer. After all the time you spent to know him might just not be worth it.

4. The Trophy Picker

These are the guys, good girls run away from but trust me it can be a jolly ride if you know he is a trophy picker. He is the one who treats you like a trophy, you know his friends, his family, his parties are your regular hangout, his football matches are your interest and his facebook is splashed with the pictures of both of you. The trophy pickers mostly come with a bunch of stupid friends because they are very much required to massage his ego the size of Poland. The only way to get his advertising under control is to keep him occupied.

The good part is that girl you will have fun because his life is like a long vacation.

The bad part is that you will hardly ever get a chance to meet the real guy because he doesn't really exist.

5. The Filmy Guy

We live in India! You have to come across the filmy guy at least once in your life time. He makes you ask a wish on fallen eyelashes and draws your attention towards a full moon night and gives you flowers and balloons and heart shapes accessories and celebrates Valentines Day and sings Bollywood songs and goes down on his knees and plans marriage and honeymoon and kids and their name and their occupation! 

The good part is that your life will be life a Yash Raj Film.

The bad part is that at some point in time you will be tired of playing a particular role - the heroine in this case.

No matter how they are, we cannot fathom a life without them. Decoding them is never a problem because there is hardly anything in their brain to decode. Yes, they are simple, sorted, cute, fun and emotional and you know what they say, "the only thing worst than a boy who hates you, is a boy who loves you!"